Hello everybody! Welcome to my column. Each month I will draw a Major Arcana tarot card which represents one of many possible paths to follow.
Major Arcana cards represent the archetypical themes of life, presenting the overall possible experiences.
Deck: Mermaid Tarot By Leeza Robertson Illustrations by Julie
Card: Strength #8
Ah Strength. There are myriad ways to be strong.
I grew up in an environment where it was not safe to express my emotions nor was I taught how to process them in a healthy manner. I was told that I was “Over dramatic, over emotional, over sensitive,” and when I cried I was told that I “…needed to go look in the mirror to see how ridiculous I looked.” I carried the belief that how I was seen by others was most important, into my tumultuous adulthood.
The tipping point came when my best friend, turned fiancee, and I deeply hurt each other by choosing not to communicate, not healing individually and not continuing to grow together; ultimately ending our relationship. From then on, I chose to no longer live my life for others. Other peoples opinions and thoughts would no longer hold more validation than my own.
Now, as a 31 year old woman I put the effort into making my mental health a priority.
Some days are harder than others. When my survival instincts set in, coming forward to save me, I feel as if electric shocks are running through my entire body, making me tense. I’ve learned that I project my fears on to others around me which is a mirror of the process I learned from the adults that raised me. That is to say that when I am feeling insecure, my assumption is that it is coming from outside me the same way that adult insecurities were transferred to me when I was unconsciously doing what I needed to regulate myself.
I am here to tell you that overcoming the words of others is worth the strength that it takes to get there. Remember that allowing yourself the space to feel through your emotions as they arise is strength. Being able to cry when you feel like crying, is strength. Following your heart when everyone around you says it’s a bad idea, is strength. Living your life for you, is strength. Waking up when your nervous system is in survival mode and fighting every moment to make it to the end of the day, is strength. Calling out of work because you are aware enough that you need a mental health day, is strength. Spending the entire day hiding underneath your blanket because you can’t face the world and you need to spend that time alone, is strength. Allowing yourself the joy of switching from survival mode into thriving mode, is strength. Everyday that you are here, choosing to face another day on this Earth, is strength.
I am here today to tell you, “You are strong.” In this upcoming month we may be pushed, and faced with many obstacles and challenges from external sources, but, you got this. The truth is that everyone struggles and asking for help is strength.
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